Our little Packer is finally here!! I meant to write this post a month and a half ago, but better late than never. :) In this post I want to talk a little bit about Packer's birth story and the meaning behind his name. So, here goes....
We were scheduled to be induced at 6:00 am on Wednesday, November 25th (the day after Tace's birthday and the day before Thanksgiving). I had my alarm set for about 4:30 so I could get up, shower and get ready, and gather the last few things we needed. Just before my alarm went off we got a call from the hospital telling us that they had had several mothers come in during the night who were in labor and they were going to have to put my induction on standby. We were a little bit discouraged. We were just so ready to get him here! So we went back to bed (or tried at least) and then we received another phone call from the hospital around 5:45 am saying things had cleared up and they were ready for me as soon as we could be there. We hurried and got up, got ready, and headed to the hospital. We got there and started the check in process right around 7:00 am. Then they started me on the pitocin drip around 8:00 am. We were now officially started! Packer was on his way and would be here soon!
Our parents got out there around 11:00 am and my doctor came in to break my water. However, with Tace, once my water broke he was here within about 15 minutes. I hadn't had my epidural yet and didn't really want to have Packer all natural (just in case he came as fast as Tace did). So we ordered the epidural instead and my doctor said he'd come back around 1:00 pm to break my water. So I got the epidural, Dr. Young came back and broke my water, and I fully expected Packer to be here within the next 1 to 3 hours (my mom always came quickly once her water broke and I came way fast with Tace after my water broke).....but boy was I wrong!
By about 8:30 pm I was finally dilated to a 10 and fully effaced. They finally let me start pushing around 9:30 pm. Two hours of pushing later I still had made no progress. And, not only had I made no progress, but I had started running a low-grade fever. Fevers, pregnancy, and I are not a good combination. After what we experienced with Tace and my hospital stay this summer, fevers while pregnant terrify us. Brian and I both got really nervous. We were so close to getting Packer here safely, but now we were worried something else might be going wrong. Brian, Brent, and my dad gave me a blessing. In the blessing we were told that Packer would be ok and that the doctors would be guided to know what to do.
Dr. Young came in to talk with us after that. He said after 2 hours of pushing he didn't think this baby was going to come out on his own. He said we could either push for another hour or so and if I progressed enough they could try to get him out with forceps. Or, we could take me in and do a C-section instead. He said that he felt like a C-section would be the better option, but that he would be willing to try whatever we wanted to do. He said we may not know which option really would be the better option until after it is over, but he felt like moving forward with a C-section would be better for both me and the baby.
He then left us alone to give us some time to discuss our options. As we discussed the options we reflected back on the words of the blessing I had received. We were told that the doctors would be guided to know what to do to get Packer here safely....Dr. Young felt like we needed to do a C-section. Darcy had also been talking to Ben Williams, an OB in Roosevelt who is also a family friend, and he also thought we should move forward with a C-section. So this is the decision we finally came to.
So at 11:40 pm they wheeled me back into the operation room. By this time my epidural was wearing off so the anesthesiologist was there with me and giving me additional anesthetic as needed. The only problem with this is that this anesthetic would eventually knock me out if he had to keep giving it to me. He was hoping to give me enough to numb me to the pain, but not put me under so that I could be coherent for the birth of Packer. By this point I was so out of it. I had been in labor for about 16 hours and had pushed for 2 of those hours and my mind and body were exhausted. However, I was still barely coherent as Packer Brian Hales made his grand entrance at 12:02 am on Thanksgiving Day (November 26th) weighing in at 7 lbs 8 oz and 18.5 inches long.
As Dr. Young pulled Packer out he looked at Brian and said, "Remember how I said we wouldn't know if we'd made the right decision until it was over? This was definitely the right decision." Apparently the cord was around his neck twice and he was posterior. Dr. Young said he likely would not have made it through a normal delivery. I am so grateful for a great doctor, for inspiration, and answered prayers that helped us decide to do a C-section and get our little Packer here safe and sound.
Here are a few pictures of our sweet boy in the hospital.
Welcome sweet boy!
All together at last!
I LOVE this picture! That smile on Bri's face says it all!
So in love with this sweet boy!
Grandpa Rick and Grandma Terri
Grandma Darc and Grandpa Brent
Meeting Aunt Halli
Daddy and Packer
Mommy and Packer
Our precious little miracle
All dressed and ready to go home!
Rocking with Daddy
Now I'd like to finish with explaining the meaning behind his name.... After losing Tace, Brian and I were devastated. We were so excited to become parents and to welcome this little boy into our home. The loss, heartache, and emptiness we felt was overwhelming. We had been advised by our doctor to wait a few months to let my body heal before we started trying to conceive again. We were able to start trying again around the end of February. I knew it wasn't likely, but I was hoping we would be able to get pregnant that first month. Tace's due date was March 30th and I felt like it would be easier to face that day if we already had another baby on the way. However, the test results came back negative. Thus, Tace's due date came and went without him here and without another baby on the way. This brought all the heartache and loss back to the surface again as we faced losing him all over again.
Exactly one week later was General Conference. We had been hoping and praying that the messages delivered by the leaders of our church would help us to find the comfort and hope that we needed to keep pressing forward with faith. There were many great messages shared, but President Packer shared a few sentences that were a direct answer to our prayers. In his message titled “The Witness” he said the following:
“Your secret yearnings and tearful pleadings will touch the heart of both the Father and the Son….Arms now empty will be filled, and hearts now hurting from broken dreams and yearnings will be healed.”
Those are the words we needed to hear. He testified that our secret yearnings and our tearful pleadings, of which there were many, would be heard by our Heavenly Father and our Savior. He then promised that our empty arms would indeed be filled one day. He also promised that our broken hearts would be healed. This apostolic promise gave us so much hope! It gave us the hope and strength we needed to move forward.
Over the next year we came to rely on this promise even more as we faced infertility problems. Then, we finally got pregnant again! However, in July (at 20 weeks pregnant) I was hospitalized again for another high fever and severe infection of some sort. We were terrified that we were going to lose this little boy too. However, miraculously he was not affected by the infection.
This week we spent in the hospital was right after President Packer passed away. While we were in the hospital, our previous bishop and his wife came to visit us and they brought us a card that had the first part of President Packer's quote above on it (they had no idea that this quote was one of our favorites). Then, one day later Brian's parents were out to visit us in the hospital and Brian's mom got talking about President Packer passing away and said that she thought it would be great if either Nicole or I (Brian's sister Nicole was also pregnant with a little boy at the time) named our little boy Packer after President Packer. (She also didn't know about President Packer's promise and the significance it held for us.) It was then that we realized that Packer would be the perfect name for our little boy. He is the literal fulfillment of President Packer's promise to us two years ago. He has filled our arms and he has helped to heal our broken hearts. We will always miss Tace, and Packer can never replace him, but being able to hold him close brings a warmth and healing that nothing else ever could.
We are so grateful for our little miracle! We love him with all our hearts!
