5 months

As of today we have been missing our sweet Tace for the same amount of time that we looked forward to his coming. Five months ago today, we said hello and goodbye to our sweet angel. And for the five months before that we looked forward with great anticipation to the day he would come into our family. It is amazing how those two time frames seem so different in length.

There is a short passage that I have seen a couple of times since losing Tace last November that I have come to love. It is called "The White Rose".

The White Rose

By, Myrna Cox

All the earth’s mothers were gathered together at God’s Garden of flowers; those

beautiful budding spirits, who would someday come to earth, were nurtured and

tended in the garden. A loving father spoke to the Mothers; “See the works of

my hands, someday you will be the mothers to these radiant spirits,” the garden

glowed with the mixture of all kinds and colors.

“Choose Ye,” He said, Now in the East corner of the garden pure white roses

stood as sentinels. They were not as colorful as the rest, but glowed with a kind

of purity which set them apart. One by one mother’s stepped forward “I want the

blue eyed, curly haired one, who will grow to maturity and be a mother in Zion.

“Yet another chose a brown eyed, brown haired boy full of life and love who

would someday be a prince in a grand country. The garden buzzed with

excitement as the others chose their own special spirits, those whom they would

soon welcome into warmth and love of an earthly home. Once again the loving

Father spoke,” But who will take the white roses, the ones in the East corner of

the garden. These will return to me in purity and goodness, they will not stay

long in your home, for I must bring them back to my Garden for they belong with

me, but they will gain bodies as was planned, you will miss them and long for

them, but I will personally care for them.” “No, not I,” many said, in unison. “ I

couldn’t bear to give one back so soon.” “Nor I,” said others. “We will take those

who will remain and grow to maturity and live long lives.” The loving Father

looked out across the multitude of mothers with a longing in His eyes for

someone to step forward, Silence. Then he said, “See the most pure and perfect

of all the white ones, I chose Him. He will go down and be a sacrifice for all

mankind. He will be scorned, mocked and crucified. He is mine own. Will not any

one choose like unto Him?” A few mothers stepped forward. “Yes, Father, I Will.”

Then another, and, “I as well,” “Yes, we will Father” Soon all the pure white roses

were taken and they rejoiced in the choices of the mothers. The Father spoke

again “Oh, blessed are you who chose the white roses, for your pain will be a

heavy cross to bear, but your joy will be exceeding, beyond anything you can

understand at this time. The white ones, embraced their mothers and knew they could

endure the tasks. And the Greatest of all the white ones, gathered them as a hen

gather her chicks. And the outpouring of love surrounded each mother and child,

consuming all the white ones as He prepared them for their task. And each

mother who bore the weight of the White Rose, would feel the overwhelming love

of God, as they all shouted, “Thy will be done.”

Our Tace is one of those pure spirits.  He is so perfect that he didn't need to face the test of mortality.
I especially love the end of the line that I bolded where Heavenly Father states "...I will personally care for them." It is a comfort to know that Tace is with our Heavenly Father and Savior who love him as much as, and even more perfectly than, Brian and I do. I know he is being watched over, loved, and taken care of until we will have the opportunity to do those things again ourselves.

We continue to miss Tace every day, and we always will...but because of the gospel we know that we still have much to look forward to.  Some days it is hard to see and feel the hope through the grief, but we do know that our Heavenly Father has a plan for us and we do know that because of this wonderful gospel, this is not the end.  We still have all of eternity to spend with our sweet boy.

As Easter has come and gone this past week, I realized that I am more grateful than ever before for my Savior, His atoning sacrifice, and His resurrection that make eternal life and eternal families possible.  Because of Him we will have the opportunity to hold our little Tace in our arms again.  We will have the chance to see him grow, to hear him laugh, and to hold him close.  I look forward to that day.