Our Gift

For the past few months I have been reading The Work and The Glory series.  These books take the fictional Steed family through all of church history beginning in Palmyra, moving to Kirtland, Far West, Nauvoo, and on to the Salt Lake Valley.  I am reading the fifth volume right now which begins as the saints are getting ready to settle in Nauvoo, which was a swamp at the time.  The cholera and malaria epidemic hits and Nathan and Lydia Steed's three year old son, little Nathan, is hit very hard with the sickness.  As his condition worsens, his father Nathan gives him a Priesthood blessing.  Near the end of the blessing, Nathan has the feeling that his son's time on earth is drawing to a close.  The words that he spake in the end of the blessing hit me so hard because they hit so close to home.  He says:

"We know that this precious child is a gift from thee, that he was thine before he was ours.  We see so little of thy purposes and plan, but we know that all that thou doest is for our best good.  We know that thy will is what will bring us the greatest joy.  So if it is thy will...If it is thy will that this son of ours should return to thee, then...Then may we accept thy will, O Father, and be strengthened in our determination to live so that we may see this precious son again with thee and thy Son in the holy resurrection."   (pg 167)


This passage really hit me  hard and made me think about our loss in a different way.  Tace truly is a gift from our Heavenly Father and Tace was His before he was ours.  When I look at it in this way, I am so grateful that we received him as a gift at all.  I did not get nearly as much time in this mortal life with our sweet Tace as I hoped I would, but I would much rather have him for a short time here and get to have him with us throughout all eternity, than to not have had him come into our family at all.  His loss is heartbreaking, but to think of not having him at all, now or in the eternities, is incomprehensible.  I truly do know that our Heavenly Father has a plan for us and that his plan will bring us great joy.  We just need to continue to rely on Him and have faith in His plan that all things which cause us sorrow now, will bring us exceedingly great joy in the eternities.


For anyone who is familiar with church history, during the cholera/malaria epidemic there was a miraculous day of healing where Joseph Smith miraculously was healed from the sickness he was suffering and went around to others in need for the rest of the day and everyone he blessed was instantly healed.  Hundreds were healed that day.

In this book, this day occurs just a few days after little Nathan passed away.  Nathan and Lydia's infant daughter was also suffering from the sickness and was on the verge of death when Joseph came and blessed their daughter to be made whole.  Lydia struggles with the knowledge that if Joseph had been well a few days sooner, he could have blessed and saved her little Nathan.  She wants to know why Heavenly Father didn't allow her son to be saved.  This is what Joseph says to her in response:

"The Lord has other purposes in life besides punishment.  He takes many away in infancy that they may escape the envy of man and the sorrows and evils of this present world.  They were too pure, too lovely to live on earth....And if that's true--and it is!--then rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice.  First because a child like your little Nathan is delivered from evil, and second because you shall soon have him again....All children are redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ.  They have no sin or uncleanness in them, and the moment they leave this world, they are taken to the bosom of Abraham....Your son is now in the bosom of Abraham.  He's in paradise.  He is assured a place in the celestial kingdom.  Would you call him back from that?"  (pg 193-194)

This passage also really stood out to me.  It reminded me that we do have reason to rejoice.  We have reason to rejoice because Tace has been delivered from the evils of this world and we do have the knowledge that we will get to have him again.  As Joseph said in this story, our sweet Tace was too pure and too lovely to live on this earth.  He is perfect, he is with his loving Heavenly Father, and he is assured a place in the celestial kingdom.  Would I call him back from that?  No.  While we still miss him every day, I wouldn't call him back from such a perfect paradise.  He is in the place that we are all striving towards.  He has already accomplished the main goal that I hope all of our future children will accomplish...a place in the celestial kingdom.   We can rejoice that we were blessed with such a pure spirit for a son.  He truly is a gift from our Heavenly Father...one of the greatest gifts we will ever receive.

We love you Tace.